I have had some HUGE breakthroughs in the past few days regarding health, nutrition and loving myself. It all started with some terrible neck/head pain that had been plaguing me for weeks that I was mostly ignoring. However a few days ago, the pain got bad enough that I finally decided I’d had enough, so I sat down and meditated to find the cause and solution. Imagine my surprise when I heard my inner voice say, “you have a nutritional deficiency of magnesium and calcium”. I mean, I eat pretty healthy for the most part, and plus, I have been known to eat tons of dairy! So I inquired how it had come about, and the answer was basically due to years of alcohol abuse and ‘unhealthy’ eating. (I knew I was supposed to go deeper with that info however, and did). Most nutrients are absorbed in the intestines, and it’s well known that alcohol abuse causes problems in that area. So I shouldn’t be surprised.

The deficiency information could also explain why I keep getting muscle spasms and why I have been having some panic attacks at night.

I decided to sit with that information for a while and ‘go deeper’ with it. What came up as a result is really enlightening and interesting. I am planning to write about it in much more depth later.

But one thing I will share here is that I realized my obsession with nutrition and ‘healthy’ food versus ‘unhealthy’ food over the years hasn’t helped me become healthier! Instead, it has placed several strong belief patterns in my mind about what I need or don’t need, which has reflected outwards into needs. And the media has played a HUGE role in this… we are bombarded with ads for weight loss, nutrition, health, meds, etc. Wow. The dairy industry has most people absolutely convinced that we need cow’s milk in various forms for health and for calcium. Well, guess what? As the cheese and yogurt QUEEN here, I know for a fact now that it is NOT TRUE!!!

I mean, look at people in other countries who aren’t obsessed with health, weight loss and nutrition. They eat a few simple foods (fish, rice, fruit, veggies, grains, etc) and they are mostly just fine! Why is it that we think we need to have all these different superfoods and vitamins? It’s simply amazing… we have literally talked ourselves into needing those variety of foods and vitamins. While around the world, people are just eating to live, and going about their lives doing other worthwhile things.

This is a prime example of ‘thought is cause’.

(I’m not saying that we don’t need vitamins and that minerals and vitamins don’t play a role in health, by the way! However we have become obsessed with it).

And it’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with our weight. While we are bombarded with food ads 24/7, at the same time, we are bombarded with diet ads, weight loss miracle stories, etc. It creates an imbalance of sorts, inconsistency, fear, and a standard of perfection that many of us struggle to live up to.

Anyway, I will sort out my thoughts more thoroughly about this subject and write more on it later.

So onto my ‘awakening’ experience… lately it has come to my attention that I’ve been very hard on myself in so many different ways lately. I have been wanting to be perfected already, be enlightened already, be on the ‘perfect’ high-vibrational diet already, be at my goal weight when the weight has not been coming off despite eating light and healthy, be doing this and that, etc. Yesterday I reached some sort of breaking point with that thinking and subsequently received healing. My mind would alternate one moment with stillness and peace, then switch over to negative, unproductive thoughts, worries and fears and even paranoia. So, I was driving along in my car, listening to a beautiful song, and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks: I have a lifetime of thinking to transform, and I’ve already come SO far. I. need. to. give. myself. a. break! Not only that, but I deserve to be kind to myself – as kind and loving as I have been with other people! I deserve that same level of kindness and care too. Lately I’ve been projecting a lot of love onto people, but somehow leaving myself out.

All of these thoughts flooded through my mind, one after another, and I could see images along with words. There was an outpouring of love from within. A huge weight of self-judgment and self-criticism was lifted from me. That fear-based “I have to be perfect and fixed already” went away – dissolved into thin air. I realized that right at that moment, I was/am already perfect. I was/am already who I am meant to be, in that moment. And the present moment is all that matters.

Since having that awakening yesterday, I have felt very serene and much of the paranoia and fear over certain issues has disappeared. I have found myself being more patient with myself and actually being nice to myself, as nice as I’ve been to everyone else. My goodness, what an obvious concept! We deserve niceness and love too. There are so many of us that want to make everyone happy, want to nurture others, but then… we somehow think we ourselves don’t deserve it.

(I wrote more on this subject on SpiritualGal.com – click here to read it!)

I woke up early today, did 30 minutes on my bike and then some Hatha Yoga. I intuitively chose 11 poses to work on for the next week or so. The best thing about it is that as I was doing some of these poses that I can’t really ‘do’ fully yet, it hurt, but it felt so natural! I’m very flexible in some ways – for instance, I can do a full lotus (and have always been able to – the half lotus position is the way I sit most often and have ever since I was a child), but some of the really simple poses were a bit… difficult. And afterward I felt amazing, despite some lingering pain (not caused by the yoga).

So on that note… I’ve hit a wall about what to do with diet. I am supposed to be fully transitioned into the ‘High Vibration Diet’ by August 1st. However, I’m currently eating turkey and chicken and eating yogurt. So, I’m going to have to rethink this a bit. I’ve started taking a magnesium and calcium supplement. I’ll keep you all updated on if it removes the muscle spasms and panic attacks.

Thanks for reading this long post!