OK, after thinking about things truthfully last night, I realize that I was not really being honest in my last post – about not caring about weight loss. I wasn’t just outright lying to everyone so much as I didn’t realize that I wasn’t being honest to myself. I realize that even after all this time, I feel guilty for some reason when I try to lose weight, or go for long without eating. This has been a mostly unconscious feeling until just in the past couple of days. There are so many people suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders, and part of me has tried for years to pretend or act like I haven’t suffered in that way myself!

So here is the truth: Yeah, I want to be thin. Yeah, I want to be healthy. I’m already getting more male attention when I run out to the store and yes, I am very much enjoying it. Part of me doesn’t mind at all that lack of appetite and very little eating is getting the job done. But I do know this kind of thing doesn’t last forever with me – I’ve gone through it (periods where I eat barely anything and drop weight) before and likely will again. I honestly think it’s a cleansing of some sort.

Anyway, in the future I will be a lot more honest with myself (and everyone else) before writing up a post on here. In regards to food, yesterday I ate more than I have in a while, and unfortunately I am feeling ill as a result. There are a few other factors that may be involved with my sick feeling though.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!